Musings on Atticus

I was doing SO GOOD with posting, but I guess I fell off the wagon (or is it on the wagon, I can never keep it straight). Of course, we've been busy (new car, various social engagements, cursing the Blue Angels), but that's no excuse! I'll be sure to post pics from the last few weeks as soon as I can find some batteries for the camera...

I'm getting used to being home with the boys two days a week (plus weekends, I still get credit for the weekends!). 90% of the time I really love it and the other 10%, well, you know. Atticus, especially is a challenge. He is either a complete angel or a little devil. There's not a lot of in between. Take yesterday. We had a playdate with a neighbor and both kids did great. Not one fight, good sharing, they played "ring around the rosie". He even picked up better than he ever has.

I guess he used up all of his angel reserve during the day because he didn't get to sleep until almost 12:00 last night. Before you call CPS or think us inattentive, laissez faire parents, we'd been trying since 8. All summer has been tough since he frankly points out, "It's not dark enough outside." He's not fooled by room-darkening shades, either. And he is the most stubborn person I've met (and if you know me, you know that I know some REALLY stubborn people- they happen to be some of my favorites!!). Last night nothing seemed to work. Jeff laid in there with him, I tried, we closed the door and let him cry, we tried reasoning with him. Nothing. He even said "I'm so tired!" I tried rubbing his back, bribing him, everything under the sun. You'd think that kids will pass out from exhaustion, but they've got INCREDIBLE depths of energy. When he finally went down, Jeff and I just smiled at each other and crashed. It was classic Atticus.

Disciplining is tough, too. Most types of discipline don't work well. We have agreed never to spank or hit our kids, but that wouldn't work with him, anyway. The few times I've yelled- doesn't faze him. Time outs work KINDA, but mostly just upset him more. Giving him as much control as possible works, but that takes lots of time and patience. So, I've learned to dig a bit deeper. There is a lot more in me than I ever thought possible. Usually I'm able to find some empathy and try to lead him in the right direction.

I've been reading The Emotional Life of the Toddler and have read some of Raising your Spirited Child. These books have helped me to understand Atticus a little more. When he says that his ears hurt (from the really quiet fan or Hanks baby swing or something), he is really experiencing that pain. He's more sensitive, inquisitive, perceptive than many kids. He's really more everything. That means the good, too. He's more loving, more funny, more sweet, more playful. I know that these qualities that are tough as a toddler will serve him well as he grows up.

Ultimately, he's made me a more creative, patient, kind, empathetic and laid back person. A better person, I think. I never thought I would know the love that I do and I never imagined what it would be like to feel as a toddler does. It's very intense and at times his hypersensitivity spills into my personality (ok, I'll admit, it's always been there). It's absolutely exhausting (physically and emotionally) raising my boys, but I think it is the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

The prizes come little bits at a time. Like yesterday morning when Atticus asked if it was a "mommy day". I said "yes" and he threw his arms up in the air and yelled "HOORAY!"